Do you like strange religious writing? The kind without cliches? That hits pressure points you didn’t know you had, sometimes popping joints back into alignment, other times throwing your back out? How about religious writing that’s NSFW, i.e., tosses around a few swear words for effect?
The Cynic Testifies is a blog of mine. It chronicles the thoughts and experiences of the last person I ever expected to become a Jesus Freak:
I’ve lived in 19 cities over the course of 33 years thus far. In the United States, these include urban, suburban, and rural places in the Midwest, the Rust Belt, New England, the Southwest, and the Deep South. Internationally, I’ve lived in Paris, France and London, United Kingdom.
For some of these cities, I lived in multiple domiciles over time.
The real definition of insanity.
Brought to you by TheWrongDictionary.com and The Wrong Dictionary on Facebook. The Wrong Dictionary is a growing fake glossary of tomfoolery, inspired by works in a similar vein by Ambrose Bierce, Gustave Flaubert, and Voltaire. It is one of my two satirical projects-in-progress.
As I rummage through the ephemera my mother left behind (journals, art, receipts, psychiatric prescriptions, etc.) I remember a prayer we used to recite before dinner:
Thank you for the world so sweet,
Thank you for the food we eat,
Thank you for the birds that sing,
Thank you, God, for everything.
My mother didn’t make that up. “World So Sweet” is a folk prayer, i.e., the original author is unknown. You can speak it or sing it. My mother and I spoke it.
“Will, you like to talk about Philosophy, Literature, and Social Media. You are introverted and spiritual. You post statuses to Facebook most often in the morning using Facebook.com.”
So says Social Me, an excellent online tool that reads your entire Facebook history, applies a few mysterious algorithms, and spits out a comprehensive report about your Facebooking habits, cognitive leanings, personality traits, people you interact with, and loads of other interesting revelations. As a writer, I especially liked the way it compares certain facts about my writing style with the general population. Allegedly I use:
- more words per sentence than 85% of people.
- more commas than 89% of people.
- fewer exclamation marks than 89% of people.
- more dashes in my writing than 85% of people.
- more quotation marks in my writing than 93% of people.
- longer words than 93% of people.
- words with more syllables than 94% of people.
- fewer concrete words than 87% of people.